Approach
How can a holistic approach help move you through the hardest moment of your life?
Meaning
Every moment of our life has the potential for meaning. It isn’t about being grateful in the face of tragedy or a forced happiness. It is about finding purpose in our lives that can act as the beacon that guides us through the storms. No matter how much we have lost if there is meaning/purpose to our lives we can endure.
As time progresses, we grow, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and with that comes change. Change is uncomfortable and confusing because we often need to reassess our meaning or purpose in life. We lose our path and it’s scary. To experience loss is to experience change. Something significant has occurred and we will never be the same as we were prior to this event. Finding meaning again is exploring who you are Now.
References: Viktor Frankle, John Vervaeke
Mindfulness
I view mindfulness in two ways. The first in as mindfulness practices such as breathwork and meditation. The second is in the sense of being self aware and listening to your own mind and spirit.
Mindfulness practice such as a silent or lead meditation can calm our thoughts, regulate our bodies, and centre us on being present in this moment. Experiencing trauma is very hard on all of our parts and mindful practices can provide a respite from the spinning thoughts and extreme emotions. When we create a positive pathway in our brain and walk that path frequently, it becomes a habit that you will naturally fall into. We are pre-programmed to pursue the negative thought pathways and so if we do not put in the time and effort to create our own positive hardwiring then we settle into patterns of anxiety and fear.
The other side of mindfulness is being aware of ourselves. Knowing that we know ourselves and our needs best. I want to support you to tap into your own list of needs and access your feelings in this moment. Our minds and bodies tell us when we need rest, when we need to step away from a person or situation, and many other things but we fight these urges in order to fit in with expectations from society, family, friends and ourselves. While we grieve, we need to be listening to our own instincts. Paying close attention to what actions will ‘do no harm’ to our already injured soul.
References: David Kessler, Lucy Hone
Rituals
Rituals are symbolic ceremonies that are often though of as formal events, such as funerals and weddings, but we all have many small daily rituals that frame our lives and mark passages of time or family moments. This can include a pancake breakfast we eat every Sunday as a family, wearing a special tie to job interviews for luck, or even just brushing our teeth every morning. These small moments signify family togetherness, good luck, and a start to a new day.
Creating your own grief or mindfulness ritual allows you to set your own intention.
Part of ritual is creating a space in your home where your grief can be allowed to come forward. When we are experiencing a time of difficulty, we can spend much of our daily lives wearing a mask, or ‘holding it together’ and this is exhausting. It is also difficult to switch back out and take that mask off which is why a ritual space can be so healing. As you use this space consistently you will find that you can more readily access your feelings about the loss or find a moment of stillness within the turmoil.
There are many aspects of ritual beyond just a place to sit, and together we can explore what might work for you: A set of mementos that are tied to memories; a journal; emotional release of negative feelings; a collection of items that bring lightness and joy; sounds that bring a moment of stillness to your thoughts.